You Infuriate Me, But You Always Smell Fantastic
by Playmymusic323
Summary: "Don't ask questions," she quipped. "3:30 in Gotham. Show up or I'll hurt you. "Fine then, it's a date." A collection of possibly connected one-shots involving Wally West and Artemis Crock. Rated T, just in case.
1. I Am Above All These Silly Mind Games

**A bunch of Spitfire one-shots (maybe some will be interconnected, I don't know where I'm going with this yet) **

**They'll be from different, interesting (hopefully) perspectives. For instance, this one-shot is from the POV of the Boy Wonder, because he is purely awesome. Don't you agree? **

**Some will be funny, some will be romantic, some will be deep (or as deep as I can manage). It all depends on my mood, but you'll be able to tell from the title where I'm going with the writing. **

**I do not own Young Justice yadda yadda yadda… **

**Please review and leave suggestions for POVs, storylines, etc. I'd love some feedback. It makes me work faster. **

**Peace, Love, and Happy New Year! **

**I Am Above All These Silly Mind Games**

15:00. Happy Harbor, Mount Justice. Loud arguing. Can't concentrate on me time. Slightly annoyed. Considering returning to Wayne Manor.

"Do you have to pretend you know _everything_?" Artemis quipped, narrowing her eyes and clenching her fists. I could tell she was putting in a real effort not to kill the redhead inhaling a bag of Doritos on the couch to her left. "You're not as smart as you think you are, and your overconfidence is getting on my last nerve."

"As a matter of fact I do know everything," he shot back, not even bothering to turn his head and look at her as he picked a second bag of chips off the coffee table. "Or, at least, most things. You were solving those chemical equations wrong. I taught you how to balance them correctly. It's not my fault your chemistry teacher is ignorant and doesn't recognize the up-to-date abbreviations I showed you. Really, he should be fired if he can't keep up with modern science."

"He's eighty-frickin'-years-old! I just wanted you to show me how to balance a simple 10th grade level equation, not work on new chemical compounds for NASA!" Artemis screamed, pulling Wally up from the couch by his collar forcing his eyes to meet hers. Both their faces were flushing and KF's eyes were as wide and I'd ever seen them, stricken with terror.

This was it. He was a goner for sure. I chuckled. Fitting that Wally should meet his end at the hands of a girl, especially _this_ girl. Well, it was nice having him for a best friend. Too bad, he was a real pal…Hmmm I wonder how Conner feels about Call of Duty?

"What do you want me to do about it?" KF asked, quietly, his collar still clenched in the fists of the blonde holding eye contact with him.

"I want you to apologize" Artemis muttered, refusing to loosen her grip on him.

The air was getting pretty thick in the living room of Mount Justice, and Wally and Artemis's breathing had become fast-paced and irregular, like they were being suffocated. You could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife. I mean, come on! I'm thirteen, and I see it. I don't understand how they don't. And all the while I'm just trying to watch _Toddlers and Tiaras_, and enjoy my life. Artemis and Wally were preventing this. I could attempt to mediate their argument, or at least suggest they move their lovers' quarrel into the other room. But they're ignoring me. I doubt they even notice I'm here.

"Apologize? For helping you? No way!" KF spat back.

I had now turned my attention to the pair completely. _Toddler and Tiaras_ would have to wait. I couldn't hear it, and I don't think I'd ever seen these two maintain physical contact for so long. I was interested. Maybe they were about to go at it right in the middle of the living room and I, Robin the Boy Wonder, would win my bet against Kaldur. I bet that the two would be sucking face by the end of the school year. Aqualad had his money on anytime this summer or later. Kaldur was crazy. There was no way KF could go another four months without jumping Artemis. He doesn't have that kind of self-control.

"Hey, are you crying?" KF whispered, tilting his head and tentatively placing his hand on her shoulder. He wasn't imagining it. There were tears falling from the corners of the fearsome archer's eyes.

"No!" Artemis whaled, letting go of the redhead's collar and taking a step back. "Look, I just can't afford to get a C in chemistry. I'll loose my scholarship, and my mom will freak out, and she's been so proud of me lately…"

She stopped midsentence when, impulsively I'm sure, KF cupped her head in his hands. I should probably leave… no, I'm just going to continue trolling.

"Then I'll fix it," he said, eyes narrowing as he stroked a loose strand of hair out of the crying girls eyes. Oh, I was _so _going to win this bet.

"You can't fix it," scoffed Artemis, rolling here eyes and breaking the eye contact the two had been maintaining. "How could you possibly fix it? Kill my teacher?"

"Well, I can't kill him. But I can give him a piece of my mind," KF said with a smirk. The two were standing further apart now, making room for Jesus and what not. Damn, and I was so sure they were finally going to give in to their animalist desires.

"So you're going to lecture my chemistry teacher on chemistry, the subject he's taught for forty years? I don't believe this."

"You better believe it, Blondie, because it's going to happen," he said turning around to plop himself back down on the couch. The couch I had been sitting on the other side of this entire conversation, overlooked, neglected, it's a wonder I haven't developed some sort of complex.

"That is, if you don't mind revealing where you go to school," he added, with a hopeful smile.

"For this," Artemis mused, raising an eyebrow. "It's worth it. Teleport to Gotham on Monday at 3:30 and I'll walk you over."

"Gotham? That's where Rob lives," Wally mentioned, motioning to me. Apparently, he's still aware of my existence. Who knew? "Small world." He paused, and turned yet again to the blonde. "Shouldn't you live in Star City? I mean you work for Green Arrow…"

"Don't ask questions," she quipped, as she moved towards the kitchen. From the doorway, she added. "3:30 in Gotham. Show up or I'll hurt you."

"It's a date," KF confirmed, turning red several seconds after the fact, realizing what he'd actually said. As I broke out in a laugh, Artemis smirked and disappeared into the next room.

"Yeah, it's a date alright." I mocked, patting the obviously embarrassed KF on the back. "Can you just marry her now and get it over with? It'd save me a lot of grief. Hearing you two bickering isn't good for my young ears."

"Shut up."

**Thanks for Reading! Please Review! **


	2. Dancing on the Surface Proves Confusing

**Here's the second installment of my little story from the perspective of our often-overlooked aquatic friend. **

**I believe it's better (and possibly more believable) than the first chapter. I'll admit that I doubt Artemis is much of a crier and most likely would rather get shot in the knee than have Wally of all people see her shed a tear. I apologize for that. Oh well, live and learn. **

**Dancing on the Surface Proves Far More Confusing Than Dancing in Atlantis**

"No, no, no! You guys still look like complete buffoons," Robin whined, slapping his right hand over his forehead.

"This is stupid," Superboy muttered, casting his eyes towards the ground and abruptly halting his swaying body. M'gann and I followed suit. We, in all likelihood, looked rather foolish.

"It's not stupid, Conner!" Our green comrade sighed, grabbing hold of the angry boy's hand. "We have to learn how to dance like normal Earth teenagers. Homecoming is right around the corner, and our dancing attempts at the Halloween dance proved… well, unsuccessful to say the least."

"I am enjoying learning about this aspect of surface culture," I chimed in, attempting to boost the morale of the group. My optimistic words prompted a smile from M'gann, a frown from Conner, and a laugh from our young teacher.

"I'm just glad you're the one who _doesn't_ go to high school, Kaldur," Robin uttered, smiling at me and raising an eyebrow. "No offence, dude, but you're worse than M'gann and Conner."

"No offence taken," I replied with a nod. Really, what did it matter if I danced well on earth? In Atlantis, I was quite the life of all the royal banquets. Underwater, I had what Robin would refer to as "sick moves."

Robin turned to the others and commenced his teachings: "Ok we'll take it from the top. Don't forget to kind of shimmy your shoulders and shuffle your feet, like this!"

"That is _not_ how you dance," a voice called from the other end of the training room. I turned to see Wally leaning against the doorway flashing a wide grin in our direction. "Come on Rob, if you're going to teach them to dance, at least teach them dance steps from this century. What are you teaching them to do, jazz squares?"

"Able to recognize a jazz square, are we, Baywatch? Artemis interrupted, appearing in the doorway next to the redhead.

"It was a lucky guess," Wally snapped. "I heard the old show music and came to see what was up. What, are you training them for, the school musical?"

"As a matter of fact, I am trained in dance and am considered frickin' awesomely unbelievable dancer at all my school's dances!" Robin yelled in protest. "And, M'gann wanted a little help with earth dancing before her and Conner go to their Homecoming."

"Where do you go to school, Robin, the '40's?" Artemis replied, provoking a smile from the redhead. "And besides, homecoming? Bleh," she gagged, possibly at the thought at the frilly dresses, but I suspected it had much more to do with Conner and M'gann going as a couple.

"Hush, soulless girl," Wally said, making his way into the room. Artemis frowned, but followed. "Meggalicious, why didn't you just ask me? I'd be more than happy to teach you how we dance on 20th century earth."

"Please! Don't mislead them," Artemis groaned, turning to our speedy teammate. "There's no way they'll benefit from learning your geeky ginger moves."

"Oh yeah! Think you can do better?" Wally nearly yelled. His eyes lit up at the prospect. Artemis was challenging him, and I had learned over our months together that nothing made the boy become more animated and focused than a challenge from the archer.

"Oh, I know I can! First thing's first," she mused, looking around the room. "Too many lights. It's got to be dark in here." Artemis moved to turn down the lights.

"Why would you do that? What is the point of dancing if you can't see your partner?" I mused, provoking a smile from both my redheaded and blonde friends.

"It's just the way we do things up here on the surface," Wally answered, as the room suddenly got quite dark. "Hey Kaldur, why are you here exactly?"

"For the experience," I frankly replied. Wally nodded in approval.

"Next, we need music," Wally said rather loudly.

"Got it covered," Artemis replied, moving over to the speakers in the opposite corner of the room. She wound up turning on some rather loud song, loud enough for us to _feel_ its vibrations. Over the blaring tune, an angry man was spitting out profane words rapidly. I was rather startled.

"What is this?" M'gann yelled, looking equally as uncomfortable as I felt.

"Kanye West, it sounds like," Wally answered. "Dubstep remix. No doubt with a verse courtesy of Lil Wayne."

"Only the best,"Artemis chimed, approaching our party from the left.

"I really like this," Conner said, practically grinning at the disturbingly loud and angry baseline of the song.

"The angry one likes Dubstep. Why am I not surprised?" Wally said, causing the other two earthlings to break out in laughter.

"Let's get serious," Artemis said, abruptly stopping her laughter to think, I suppose, of the best possible way to teach us the dancing ways of her people. "Well, boys just kind of bob around and look stupid while standing uncomfortably close to the girls they find most attractive on the dance floor."

At this, Conner began bouncing around slightly to M'gann's left.

"That's about right," Artemis said in amused approval.

"You're just saying that 'cause it's him," Wally spat, quite obviously in a tone of jealously mixed with anger. Ah yes, these two would soon be a couple. For my sake, they'd wait until this summer or later, as I still hope to win my wager against Robin. "Let me show you how it's done."

The Kid Flash then proceeded to dance. It was really a strange combination of bobbing around that looked little better than Conner's movements.

"Oh please," I doesn't matter how the _guy_ dances, and that, as I expected, wasn't good at all." Artemis groaned, rolling her eyes. "It's all about how the girl does it. She's got all the power. If she does it right, she can make any guy fall for her just by shaking her ass a little."

"Yeah sure, I'd like to see you try," Wally responded, in a tone of disgust.

"Watch and learn M'gann," Artemis said, briefly turning to the Martian, before placing her eyes back on her challenger.

I was not quite sure what she was doing. It seemed to me she shook her um… rear a little, slowly lowering her body to the ground to the beat of the music from time to time. She raised her arms above her head and ran them through her hair as she moved around. It was, admittedly, tantalizing.

Wally's jaw was practically unhinged as Artemis moved towards him, dropping to the floor one last time in front of him before finishing her mesmerizing routine.

"Well?" she purred, giving our fast friend a rather scandalizing smile.

"Wow... well," He stammered, as he swallowed avoiding eye contact. "You win. God, where did you learn to dance like that?" He finally returned her stare. He looked rather embarrassed. I did not blame him. That girl is something else.

"Oh, you know, around," she replied. "You don't look so good, Wallace. Is it too hot in here for you?" Before he had a chance to respond, M'gann asked a question that, quite honestly, had been on my mind as well.

"If that's how you dance by yourself, how do you dance with another person?"

Wally and Artemis turned to each other, Wally grinned.

"Want to show her, Arty?"

"In your dreams Baywatch," she replied, shoving him onto the floor and turning to leave the room. Before she left, she turned to our group and smiled. "If you want to know, M'gann, I'm sure Baywatch and Robin would be more than happy to demonstrate."

The three of us turned expectantly to the two humans. Wally shook his head, sighed, picked himself off the ground, and proceeded to leave the room, looking a tad bit disappointed as he did so. Robin simply broke into a wide grin.

"Sorry guys, you're just going to have to figure that out on your own."

**The "dancing with another person" thing was meant to imply grinding in case you didn't pick up in that.**

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**


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